If you are not familiar with the secret weapon, let me enlighten you.
Picture yourself in a battle, you are battling it out with your enemy, you are neck and neck with your opponent, neither of you can seem to get the upper hand, and just before they take the lead, you reveal that you are in possession of a revolutionary, groundbreaking weapon that trumps all others. You catch your opponent off guard, and claim your victory!
When I was in the fifth grade, for one brief moment, I got to experience the rush of not only using the secret weapon, but BEING the secret weapon. So there I was, on my basketball team, I can't remember what we were called, but I think it was associated with some sort of animal of prey (Lions, Tigers, Raptors...). However, I was the youngest member of the team. The rest of my teammates were in the sixth and seventh grade, but I somehow managed to make it onto the team.
Here is a particularly nice photo of me back in the day. What a winner.
There was one particular game where we were neck and neck, and our team really needed to step it up, and take the lead. The score is tied, and they bring me out. Number 3. Secret Weapon! I run on the court, the crowd (my mother) goes wild! I get possession of the ball, and at the last possible second I am forced to make a quick decision. That's right, a half-court shot. I put it up, it seemed like an eternity before it made it to the goal, and swish! Nothin' but NET! I throw up my hand in victory, and briefly had the feeling of being a secret weapon. My teammates rush by my side, but instead of hoisting me on their shoulders, they began to hurl insults at me. I look at the score board, and our opponents' had somehow gained 3 points. Then it hit me: I wasn't our secret weapon, I was theirs!
In that brief millisecond, I knew what it felt like. I felt valued. I didn't feel like the chubby, uncoordinated youngster of the team, I was valued, I was needed, I was relevant, I was an imperative asset to the team.
In my adult life, I have found that I have that same longing of being valued, needed, relevant, and imperative to a cause. However, frankly, more often than not, I am not capable of being an asset to anything. I am insufficient, and that, is a terrible feeling. I want to be someone who is wonderfully fulfilling my purpose in life. But, I'm not the only one.
Many mighty men that God used to do incredible things felt the same way.
Take it from Isaiah. Immediately after Isaiah saw God in Isaiah chapter 6, he says "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!" There was a sense of unworthiness, as their should be. God was asking Isaiah, a regular guy to be His messenger to Israel.
Later on in Isaiah, chapter 49, he says these, more confident words:
"Listen to me, O coastlands,
and give attention, you peoples from afar.
The LORD called me from the womb,
from the body of my mother he named my name.
He made my mouth like a sharp sword;
in the shadow of his hand he hid me;
he made me a polished arrow;
in his quiver he hid me away.
And he said to me, “You are my servant,
Israel, in whom I will be glorified.”
But I said, “I have labored in vain;
I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity;
yet surely my right is with the LORD,
and my recompense with my God.”
It is encouraging to me to know that Isaiah felt the same way I do sometimes, but through all that, because of his intimate relationship with God, he could see past his insufficiency. He says that God had made him a polished arrow, and hid him away. He was a secret weapon!
So many times, we can feel like we are living this life for nothing. Let's be honest, instant gratification is not the name of the Christianity game. We do not always reap our benefits in a timely manner.
Isaiah said that he felt like he labored in vain, that he spent his strength for vanity, and yet he goes on to say that he is still being used by God, and still necessary in the advancement of His Kingdom.
So, regardless of our attitude, or our self-confidence, or whatever, we have to know that we are necessary to God's Kingdom. Even though we may not always be able to see it in ourselves, God does. He will use us, and continue to use us if we choose to trust Him in the fact that He can, regardless of our insufficiency.
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