Hustled

I have struggled for years to find God's plan for my life.  What should I be?  Worship Leader?  Youth Pastor?  Children's Pastor?  Missionary?  Associate Pastor?  Senior Pastor?  Author?  Record Producer?
I have come to the realization that my calling in life is servant.  That is as specific as I can get.  I currently serve as a Youth Pastor.  I am not limited to that, as a matter of fact, if God called me to be a Missionary, I would move tomorrow.  I am open to the curvature of God's will. 

I have served as a Youth Pastor for almost a year now, and to be quite honest, I have experienced some things I would have never dreamed of.  Some things I have been immensely blessed, and some things I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Recently I have become acquainted with a very captivating young man, I will not mention his name, but I will say, I have never met anyone like him.  He comes to our Youth service high strung and ready to party.  It seems to be the hi-light of his week.  The first few weeks he started coming, it was culture shock for me.  He had never been to a youth service before, and did not know how to act.  In the middle of my lesson, he would blurt out "When are you gonna be done?" I knew he would be one of those kids.  I grew tired of being interrupted, losing my train of thought, and answering thousands of questions.  I had a hard time showing him love.  He was out of control.

One day, unexpectedly, one of my leaders had admitted to having a bad attitude about this young man.  He began to tell me a story about him.  He had given this kid a ride home one Sunday after church, annoyed the whole trip.  Finally they reach his home, a single-wide trailer.  As the boy hopped out of his truck, the boy asked him "You got anything to drink?" "No" He replied, frustrated that he was constantly asking for something.  The boy reached into his pocket, pulled out a bottle of water, tossed it in his lap and said "here ya go, thanks for the ride!"

We later discovered that he was living in this trailer with his single, unemployed, chain-smoking mother.  Every other week he had a different father figure.  It was clear that the boy just needed love.  He had never seen it before.  He had never been to church.  He had never had someone to truly call his friend, or family.  He is only 13.

A few weeks later, he came in with his guitar.  Actually It was more of a sad excuse for what might have at one time been a guitar.  It was busted up, missing frets, the nut, the bridge was ripping off, the neck was cracking away from the body.  It was unplayable.  He begged me to repair it, I assured him that it was impossible.  He persisted.  So, to set him to ease, I told him that I would look into getting him a different guitar.

I ended up finding a really nice guy who was willing to donate a guitar to the young man.  It was a black electric guitar and amp.  I knew he would be thrilled.  I could not wait to give it to him.  I was so excited.  This would make his day, his month, his year!  He would be so excited that he would never put it down. He was so obsessed with getting a guitar, he would play it all the time!  One day he would become famous, and credit all of his success to his first youth pastor!  (It is not wrong to be optimistic!)

The day came, I was bringing him the guitar.  It was a sunday morning.  I waited for him, but he never showed up.  So, after church, I decided to deliver the guitar to him myself.  So, I pulled up to his house, grabbed the new guitar and amp and marched up to his door with a smile on my face.  I knocked on the door, after a few minutes, he came to the door, opened it, looked at me, looked at the guitar, looked at me, looked at the guitar, looked at me and said "Is that my guitar?" "Yes!" I exclaimed!  He grabs the guitar and amp, and goes back inside, without saying a word.  Moments later, I heard his mom yell "What do you say?"  He opened the door, and said "oh... thanks." and shut the door.

I couldn't believe it.  No reaction, nothing.  He didn't even say thank you on his own.  He acted as though it was already his, as if he was entitled to it.  I got hustled!  I did all this work to help this kid out, and nothing happened.  What a rip off!  I went back to the car, completely disappointed.  Who does that?  This is something that he could have never afforded, and I went out of my way to ensure that he would get it.  He wasn't even a good kid.  He was the most difficult kid I had.  He didn't deserve it, he didn't appreciate it, and he completely took advantage of me.  

I got hustled.

But then I realized something.
I could not be upset with him.  How often are we just like him?
God gifts us with his grace, and how frequently to we thank Him?  We aren't even good people.  We are difficult, sinful, eccentric, crazy people.  We could never afford this grace if it were not a gift to us.  We do not deserve it.  And yet, we act as though we are entitled to this grace, as if it is not a gift, as if we deserve it. 

Thank you God for your grace.
I do not deserve it.
I am sinful.
I am wrong.
I am poor.
I am difficult.
I could never earn your grace.
If it were not a gift, I could never attain it.
Thank you for investing in me.
Thank you for giving me your name.
May I never take it for granted.
I am sorry for all the times I forgot to thank you.
I am nothing without you.
Love,
-Dillon

"As they had their pasture, they became satisfied, and being satisfied, their heart became proud; Therefore they forgot about Me."
Hosea 13:6

"How's Married Life?"

I have been blessed. There is no denying that. God has blessed me in so many ways, but the most significant blessing He has showed me, aside from His grace, would definitely be marriage.
I had two major fears as a child: That I wouldn't be able to grow a full beard and that I would never be married. Well, by the time I was in 7th grade I grew a full beard, and by the time I was 22, I was married. So, I have definitely been blessed.

If you have ever been married, you know why the title of this blog is amusing. If I had a dime for every time I heard "How's Married Life?" Then I could buy Emily that Suburban she wants, you know, the black ones the F.B.I. drive.  Anyways, everyone always asks, so this blog is my attempt to answer that question.

When I first got engaged, it seemed like every guy I talked to told me "Dude, your life is over!" or "Don't do it! You'll regret it!" I heard everything, that marriage was a prison, that I was giving up my freedom, that my life would be miserable. But I knew that was not what God had intended marriage to be. I also knew that I was not them, and my wife was not their wife, so it would be a completely different marriage.

I will say, from the moment we were married, it hurt to be apart. I never knew love like that was a possibility. I love my wife more than I could ever explain. In no way has she ever taken my freedom, ended my happiness, made my life miserable or gotten in my way. She is my help mate. She helps me live. She lives her role as a help mate cheerfully, and extraordinarily. She extravagantly lavishes me with her love and I could never imagine my life without her.

So, why did everyone give me all of that terrible "advice" before we got married? Here is the way I see it: When you get married, your single, independent life is over. There is nothing you can do about it, it is gone. You do not live only to satisfy and sustain yourself, you live to benefit another person. So, you can have one of two attitudes:

You can take the attitude that you still want to have fun. Just because you got married, doesn't mean that your life is over, you are still going to eat what you want, wear what you want, say what you want, and do what you want. No one can stop you, not even your spouse. 

Or, you can take the attitude that God has given you this person to strengthen one another as a unit. He has paired you to make you more effective in serving Him. When she doesn't want you eating nasty, greasy, man food, it is not because she doesn't want you to enjoy yourself, it is that she loves you, and doesn't want you to hurt yourself. When she doesn't like you telling the story about how you saw someone getting hit by a van, it doesn't mean she is trying to steal your thunder, it is that she loves you, and she doesn't want you to sound like a babbling idiot. She wants people to respect you.

When we look at it in this lens, the first attitude is a terrible attitude to have towards your other half. I could never think those things about my sweetheart. I am here to love her, to protect her, and to present her as the amazing woman of God that she is.

God's word says:

"So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

Ephesians 5:28-31

So, in closing, It is important that we take this stance on marriage.  We are not separate individual beings, apart from our spouses.  We are one with them.  So, being one with them means that we treat them as if we were literally the same person.  It means trying to understand them.  It means admitting you are wrong.  It means saying "I am sorry".  It means truly doing what is best for them, getting rid of your selfish mentality. 

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself.  Successful marriage demands a certain death to self.  ~Jerry McCant